Consider the Birds

May 11, 2025

I keep finding myself with white knuckles as I try to hold on tightly to the fleeting moments I have left in Italy. I’ve been savoring each morning coffee, each run with the girls, each aperitivo, each hour the church bells chime, each walk to the grocery store, each time I hear neighbors practicing playing their instruments or opera singing, each night spent with friends.

In just two months, my two years here will be over, and I’m struggling to come to terms with it. I’m a different person than the girl I was when I first moved here. I’ve become more independent, but I've also learned to better rely on others as friends over here have become more like family. I’ve learned to move at a slower pace because I’m embracing the lackadaisical way of la dolce vita, but I’m also moving faster because, well, I'm newly obsessed with running. I’ve fallen more in love with reading stories, but even more in love with actually living them (and writing them too). I’ve stopped stressing so much about the future… well, maybe that's not so true. I'd thought I had, but now that the future is sneaking up on me and I'm not so sure.

I’ve taken a bit of a self-care day today, because I was up till 4 in the morning working on my thesis then had a little mental breakdown and think my eyes will bleed if I see one more research paper in the next 24 hours. I slept in until noon and sat in the sun until it fell behind my building and I was sitting in shadow, then did a little cleaning before taking myself out for a solo aperitivo and gelato date. Now I’m back out on my balcony, typing despite feeling like I've been typing all weekend, because I know my grandmothers will be upset if I miss another week of blog posts. (Happy Mother’s Day, I love you!!)

my current set up

My balcony looks out into a little church courtyard, and every night as the sun sets, the sparrows go crazy flying around it. Sparrows are funny birds. A quick google search will tell you that they’re known for their adaptability and camaraderie, and they’re often found living in churches. So basically, they go with the flow, live in community, enjoy a good sunset, and settle back into their little sanctuary each night. What a life!!

my current view

I hate birds. I fear them. If you've known me long, you probably know that I was big into the "Birds Aren't Real" conspiracy theory. But I digress. Tonight, as the sparrows are circling and singing, they are serving as a good reminder, so I guess I'll write about them.

Consider the birds

One of the most quoted passages in The Bible is from the sermon on the mount: Do Not Be Anxious.

Therefore I tell you: Don’t worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Isn’t life more than food and the body more than clothing? Consider the birds of the sky: They don’t sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you worth more than they? Can any of you add one moment to his life span by worrying? And why do you worry about clothes? Observe how the wildflowers of the field grow: They don’t labor or spin thread. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was adorned like one of these. If that’s how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and thrown into the furnace tomorrow, won’t he do much more for you—you of little faith? So don’t worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you. Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:25-34

I have been feeling a bit untethered, a bit nostalgic, a bit anxious, but I also feel at peace. I know whatever comes next, I’ll never be without my friends, my family, and my faith. I know that God is able to do abundantly more than we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20), and His plans have always been better for me than my own. And who can add a moment to their life by worrying anyway?? Just enjoy the moment you're in!

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In other news, Teresa and I found a new running trail this week, and flying through the fields of Piacenza made me love this little city so much more. As we ran, I soaked in the views, stopped to “observe the wildflowers” (the poppies are in bloom!!), dodged a few ravens that swooped overhead, and listened to my old country playlist because there’s no better music on a sunny day. The song Last Dollar (Fly Away) by Tim McGraw came on, and it made me smile as he sang:

“Like a bird I sing

Cause you’ve given me

The most beautiful set of wings”

Amen, Tim.

Now that I think about it, birds have been a bit of a theme in my life this week. They’ve woken me up with their singing every morning, on a run this week one pooped on me, and one day a friend was late to class because one flew into her apartment. I guess maybe I’m supposed to consider them and stop stressing so much!!